The Knitting Fiend

As my readers know, I am convinced: Evolution is guided by intelligence.

As I research the subject, my conviction deepens. As part of my research, I surf blogs. Imagine my delight when I came across an article with the title Stuff at “When Knitting Was a Manly Art”; Jerry’s article included a link to this important New Yorker news story: Intelligent Design.

As a read the New Yorker article, a bright light appeared to me and this thought popped into my head:

The ever evolving wonders and marvels of life on earth must be guided by many hands.

I was then visited this trinity of tangled spirits:

The Giant Spaghetti Monster.

As first revealed to Bobby Henderson; it was The Giant Spaghetti Monster who created the earth and its flora and fauna. He nurtures the plants that sustain us. He ordered humankind to till the earth, sow grains, cultivate herbs and raise animals so we could prepare pesto fettuccini.

We invoke his name each time we eat pasta and slurp the tangly noodles into our mouths. Ramen.

The Rewound Yarn Goddess.

Behold, she who clothes us!

The Rewound Yarn Goddess guided our eyes to see farm animals covered in fur. She taught us to harvest the fur, spin, weave, knit or crochet it into fabric. Textile production lead to higher thought processes, prodding us to envision binary codes and invent nifty things like the Jacquard loom.

Thank the Goddess who, in her infinite wisdom, guided us to develop the basis for computing. Ever may we cross our needles in her honor!

The Jumbly Wire Wizard.

This ever present, silently conducting, sexually ambiguous, and when tightly wound, highly magnetic entity conveys power to servers across the planet. Its appendages permit mere mortals to download pesto recipes and knitting patterns from a far, helping us fulfill the commands of the its sibling deities, the Spaghetti Monster and the Yarn Goddess.

Can we not see how this electrical Wizard magically transforms the binary codes inspired by the Yarn Goddess herself and ultimately brings mortal beings . . . blogs?

Pray this incarnate being electrifies our planet in perpetuity!

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As I beheld this tangled Trinity, I had an even greater epiphany: First food, then clothing, and finally, entertainment. Intelligent beings guide who guide our physical evolution also guide our technological evolution!

May it ever be so. Ramen!