The Knitting Fiend

I’m rich, rich, I tell you! Lucky for me my spam filter didn’t catch this one:

NATIONAL POSTCODE INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY AND PROMOTIONS.
VANM EEGENSTRAAT 70,
POST CODE 1122GK,
AMSTERDAM,
THE NETHERLANDS.

FROM: THE DESK OF THE MANAGING DIRECTOR,
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION/PRIZE,AWARD DEPT.
SCFN: GWK/5333/025648/03UAD.
BATCH: 241/2002/BLL.

Attn:

We wish to congratulate you over your success in our computer balloting sweepstake held on 12 September,2005.

This is a millennium scientific computer game in which email addresses were used. It is a promotional program aimed at encouraging internet users;therefore you do not need to buy ticket to enter for it.

Readers, don’t you think it’s just terrific someone set up a game to encourage internet users?! Were it not for games of this sort, surely, the internet would fail. Imagine a sad, sad world where knitters couldn’t share tips by blogging?

However,your email address was attached to Ticket No:1001-58255563-2285 ; with SerialNo:8888/03 and LuckY No:02-22-00-66-99-85-52-12-36-50, which eventually won the lottery in the first category of the draws. Thisentitled to a cash prize of SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND EUROS(Eur.750,000.00) in cash credited to security file number GWK/5333/025648/03UAD.This is from a total cash prize of (EUR 3.Million)share among four individuals in this category.

Whoo hoo!!! One Euro is worth more than a dollar right now. I’m rich! From now on, I’ll knit with hand dyed quiviut only using antique knitting needles carved from ivory. Whoo hoo!

We hope with a part of your winning ,you will take part in our NEXT year stake of EUR. 20 million International Lottery Program.

Well, of course! Imagine, I just won over $750,000 doing absolutely nothing. How lucky is that? Imagine how much I’d win by actually placing a bet?

Note that this program was largely promoted and sponsored by a group of philanthropist,industrialists from the internet ware industry and some other big multinational firms who wish to be anonymous.

I understand why they might wish to be anonymous. Imagine what their shareholders might think if they learned they were giving away millions of dollars to people chosen absolutely at random?

Your funds is now deposited with our Payment/Finance Department in the security company to your name ,Due to the mixed up of some numbers and names,

Mixups happen. In fact, it’s hardly surprising in this case. After all, I have provided no information about myself at all! All you have is my email address, likely harvested by some bot.

Oh. I do thank you for figuring out I don’t speak Dutch and communicating to me in English. You people must be psychic!

we ask that you keep this winning a top secret from the public notice until your claims has been processed and remitted to your account as this is a part of the security protocol, to avoid double claiming or unwarranted taking advantage of this program by participants.

Top Secret! Of course. It’s understood.

But, surely, you can’t mind if I share this news with a few of my closest friends? I’m sure readers of “The Knitting Fiend” will be thrilled at my good fortune. None would never try to take advantage of this information to collect my winnings. They all know and love me. They want me to afford the finest yarns so I can knit even more splendid things.

Also, knitters are all honest, loving and sharing. It’s a known fact.

TO begin your claims, please contact your claim agent:

NATIONAL POSTCODE LOTERIJ AGENCY:

DR.Smith Morgan(Director of Foreign Transfer).
TEL: 00031-628-396-069
Fax: +31-847-304-633
Email:postcodeagents@netscape.net

May I reverse the charges?

I’ve checked the phone number prefix on this list. It is, indeed in the Netherlands. Imagine, for a moment, I was worried this might be a scam? Silly me.

Oh, and let me congratulate your company for taking pains to keep this private by using a totally free email address from @netscape.net. I really appreciate the additional privacy you get by sending me an email from the entirely different, and also totally free of charge, @msn.net address. Very clever of you!

For processing and remittance of your cash to a designated account of your choice. Remember,all winnings must be claim not later than 28th of
September,2005.After this date, all unclaimed funds will be returned to the promotion company.

Please, couldn’t you just send a check? I don’t have a designated account. I became suspicious of bank accounts when I watched “It’s a Wonderful Life” and learned banks collapsed during “The Great Depression”. I’m sure you understand?

Furthermore, should there be any change of email address, do inform your claim agent as soon as possible.

Congratulations once again from all members of our staff and thank you for being part of our promotions.

Yours sincerely,
Mrs Doris Phillips(Lottery Coordinator).

Of course I’ll email you when I change my email address. Please enter me in any and all future lotteries. I want to win even more!

I was so, so happy. Imagine my disappointment when I googled

and found a scam reportwhich comments:

1. A lottery variant of the 419 style of scam. Correspondance will simply result in requests for ‘administration fees’ to cover various costs, but you’ll never actually get any money back!

2. ‘NATIONAL POSTCODE INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY’ very likely do not even exist and are just a fake company name used by the scammers.

3. Notice that the sender uses a free, web based email address. A real company would almost certainly use their own.

Yah think?